When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
