Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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