So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
