the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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