I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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