Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
