so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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