I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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