i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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