what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
