Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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