I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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