Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
