I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
