she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
