so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
