Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
