I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
