I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
