Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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