We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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