I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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