I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
