White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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