I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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