I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
