she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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