Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
