Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
