sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
