Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
