It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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