At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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