We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
