i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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