make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize