hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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