Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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