How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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