Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
