I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
