i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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