oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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