i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
