At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
