he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
