Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
