I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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