I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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