oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"