Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  we're not divorced.

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  (214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (1052) Bad night (3342)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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  (678): well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list http://tfl.nu/inae
  Replies (4) Good night (2869) Bad night (851)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i wish there were pregnant emoticons

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  (440): i wish there were pregnant emoticons http://tfl.nu/icoh
  Replies (11) Good night (804) Bad night (3190)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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  (336): I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/6qrx
  Replies (14) Good night (710) Bad night (4194)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.

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  (405): Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts. http://tfl.nu/kf4k
  Replies (16) Good night (5063) Bad night (1360)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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  (609): we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding? http://tfl.nu/9jac
  Replies (11) Good night (4852) Bad night (1026)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  did i walk over a car last night?

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  (+61): did i walk over a car last night? http://tfl.nu/hd3i
  Replies (4) Good night (2095) Bad night (744)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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  (252): i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no. http://tfl.nu/99ae
  Replies (8) Good night (1915) Bad night (707)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (986)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.

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  (303): You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June. http://tfl.nu/llud
  Replies (13) Good night (2935) Bad night (757)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...

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  (407): He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on... http://tfl.nu/r90u
  Replies (7) Good night (718) Bad night (1562)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

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  (250): You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you. http://tfl.nu/tyfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1405) Bad night (615)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.

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  (636): he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting. http://tfl.nu/kcge
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.

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  (256): I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong. http://tfl.nu/l8wk
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (491)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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  (406): I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers. http://tfl.nu/b6xw
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (302)

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