I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?