It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real