Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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  (713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9
  Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (2350)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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  (304): hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun http://tfl.nu/jcw4
  Replies (16) Good night (4268) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..

  (256): View more from Alabama

  everythings easier when your wearing a toga.

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  (205): Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga.. (256): everythings easier when your wearing a toga. http://tfl.nu/a4vc
  Replies (22) Good night (7412) Bad night (1145)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.

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  (206): obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y9qf
  Replies (6) Good night (3141) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.

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  (571): I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend. http://tfl.nu/5ie3
  Replies (11) Good night (2388) Bad night (1268)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.

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  (330): theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk69
  Replies (29) Good night (7033) Bad night (1301)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition

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  (765): That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition http://tfl.nu/31mo
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (1463)
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  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5745) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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  (845): I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties http://tfl.nu/lvqb
  Replies (12) Good night (2543) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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  (570): I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed http://tfl.nu/7vip
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (1076)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.

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  (901): Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/fm4c
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  (734): I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed http://tfl.nu/ut1d
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.

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  (780): When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/go1c
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?

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  (571): Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you? http://tfl.nu/rje6
  Replies (13) Good night (465) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.

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  (814): Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again. http://tfl.nu/nw0b
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (344)

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