I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
