i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
