I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
