Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
