my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
