i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
