my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
