I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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