Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
my liver is dry heaving
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