There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
