So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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