With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
