I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
