Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
