All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
