Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
