Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize