i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
