If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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