My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
