he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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