I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
where does the pee come out of this thing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
