No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
